Stories this week include:

• Thamesmead Swan Patrol (TSP) forced to reduce daily patrols due to lack of interest.
• Surprise surge in chocolate coin sales as confusion surrounding cryptocurrency grows.
• The Krankies defend 'lewd and offensive' pantomime performance with crass and obscene statement.
• Origin of Species to be revised after man cements microwave to own head.

Also revealed: Rob is left empty-handed yet again...

Wishing all our listeners a very happy Christmas and restful New Year!

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Stories this week include:

• The spectre of Robin Hood stages intervention for local UFO expert.
• Manhunt continues for crazed, pin-wielding fugitive.
• Travelodge to offer new donkey befriending service.
• Family rescued by coastguard after being caught 'swerving for a badger'.

Also revealed: We investigate the difference between marshland and wetland (which is as dull as it sounds)...

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Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include:

• Faecal connoisseur shaves dog.
• Pensioner discovers unexploded courgette.
• Newcastle man admits that pasty tattoo was a misteak.
• Homeowner mourns the loss of front lawn.

Also revealed: The News Shopper has a new Editor-in-Chief...

Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/

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Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include:

• Welsh defeat hostile octopuses.

• Remote village burns sacrificial wicker van to the God of broadband speeds.

• Bus company owner sacks entire workforce in order to follow dream or not owning a bus company.

• Papa John's sieg to distance themselves from Neo-Nazi endorsement.

Also revealed: Always count your partridges...

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Breaking News: Alex goes it alone for the final time...

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Breaking News: Alex goes it alone...(Part 2)

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Breaking News: Alex goes it alone...(Part 1)

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Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include:

• Deadly sock discovered in Coventry bedroom.

• Local hero to publish explosive diary charting the biodegradable properties of plastic bags.

• Criminal gang charged with handling salmon in suspicious circumstances.

• Man has final game of hide and seek with police before arrest.

Also revealed: We resurrect another pointless feature...

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/

Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include:

• Welsh shopkeeper forced to admit that dogs cannot talk following extensive research.

• Morbid photo stunt damages priceless coffin.

• Narcissistic and fantasist brags of his 'f*ck off money'.

• Shock as Paranormal investigator reveals that haunted doll is haunted.

Also revealed: We search faeces on Wikipedia for no discernible reason...

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/

Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include:

• Luddite uses petrol station.

• Possessed charity shop doll scapegoated for infidelity.

• Guinea pig 'deposited' in shopping centre bathroom. 

• Novelist and former landlord uses national newspaper to boast of her numerous achievements. 

Also revealed: Alex’s powers appear to be failing him…

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/

Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include:

Also revealed: We try to source a sixpence...

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/

Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include:

Also revealed: We discuss the eagerly awaited return of Mr Ames...

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/

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Stories this week include:

Also revealed: Would anyone listen to a podcast called 'Bee Talk'?

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Stories this week include:

Also revealed: The tension is palpable...

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/

Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include:

Also revealed: We discuss the correct way to dispose of a dead goose...

Stories this week include:

Also revealed: We establish the South Norwood Animal Tracking and Cat Helpline (SNATCH)...

Stories this week include:

Also revealed: We receive an offer we can't refuse...

Stories this week include:

Also revealed: We find out what Rob would be willing to do for money...

Stories this week include:

Also revealed: We relish a potential legal challenge...

Stories this week include:

Also revealed: Rob encounters the mythical porn fairy...

Stories this week include:

Also revealed: We try not to mention Hitler...

Stories this week include:

Also revealed: We take time to reflect on the sacrifice made by chocolate Benedict Cumberbatch?

Stories this week include:

• Donkey with low self-esteem struggling to skate again.
• Renamed shopping street 'Archway to Hell' sees surprise decline in sales.
• Local town beats off stiff competition to be named 'Pervert Capital of the United Kingdom'.
• Charity fundraiser cancelled due to lack of interest.    

Also revealed: Would you consider contributing towards Rob's honeymoon?

Stories this week include:

• Supermarket manager attempts to cut short impromptu guitar solo by eight-year-old.
• 'Celebrated' editor takes to his keyboard to vent fury at pigeon-feeding pensioner.
• Drunk man fails to order Happy Meal from car wash.
• An alarming new crave called 'Water Drinking Battle for Men' is sweeping Japan.    

Also revealed: We spend too much time perfecting our Roland Rat impressions...

Stories this week include:

• Jobseeker fails interview after struggling to answer probing questions.
• Corpse successfully contests rigged election.
• 'Greggs the Delicatessen' denies employing rats to manage mouse infestation at local store.
• Councils told to stop named streets after potential sex offenders.    

Also revealed: We come up with a new slogan for Birds Eye...

Stories this week include:

• New human speed bump proving unpopular with motorists.
• Man reluctantly admits that 3 hours in A&E preferable to watching Newcastle United.
• Cheltenham in shock after unripe avocado used in drive-by.
• Canary bears uncanny resemblance to an angry Cheeto.    

Also revealed: Rob admits to being a Harvester apologist...

Stories this week include:

• Busty bust-up in Toby Carvery.
• Village resident regrets selling lover to circus.
• Father's fury at sh*tty swing in sh*tty park.
• Cornish newspaper breaks Trump 'exclusive'.    

Also revealed: The Graduation Theory gathers momentum...

Stories this week include:

• All female Slayer tribute band denies link to Croydon (and surrounding area) Cat Killer.
• Matalan defends range of luxury gifts made by 'highest category of UK-based prisoners'.
• Shopper tries to locate mystery woman following basket banter.
• Police detain poaching gang following unpheasant discovery.    

Also revealed: Rob makes a cash offer...

Stories this week include:

• Woman shocked by exceptional breasts.
• Town refuses to recognise local hero that saved beloved pet from imaginary fire.
• Giant goose thought to be heading to Exeter.
• 'Expert' claims that the Ford Transit is the extra-terrestrial's light commercial vehicle of choice.    

Also revealed: Concern grows for Alex's mental wellbeing...

Stories this week include:

• Firefighters stunned at duck's ability to swim in water.
• Local man insists that everyone should 'get it out' at Christmas.
• Foul-mouthed customer upset by free gift.
• Husband punches beaver for the first time, apparently.   

Also revealed: We name a selection of Welsh recording artists...