Local Anaesthetic: The Most Trusted Name In Local News Local Anaesthetic is a podcast exploring strange and funny local stories from across the UK (and occasionally the world...) including listener submitted contributions. Listeners can submit stories via Facebook (Facebook.com/lapodcast), Twitter (@lapocast) or e-mail: (lapodcast.net@gmail.com). We

Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 


Stories this week include:

  • One man responsible for shock Whitehall biscuit budget overspend.
  • Cultured man exiled from Croydon. 
  • Local entrepreneur admits nonexistence sales of new Remembrance Day ice cream.
  • Lamb's heart revealed as must have toy of 2013.

Also revealed: So this is the LA Christmas episode and what have we done? Another podcast over and another soon to come. 

Direct download: la83.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 9:46am EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 


Stories this week include:

  • Man offered under-the-counter sheep in pub.
  • Fisherman mistakes fish for crocodile. 
  • Multilingual vigilante gives burglars good hiding.
  • Former England midfielder gives poem to tattooist.

Also revealed: Alex gets distracted...

Direct download: La82.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 3:49pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com

 

 

No headlines this week as they've become caught in the Christmas decorations.

 

Also revealed: We mourn the loss of a particular 1980's cartoon family.

Direct download: la81.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 11:38am EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com

 

 

No headlines this week as they have contracted a virus and have subsequently been quarantined.

 

Also revealed: We mourn the loss of the Editor's Eye...


Direct download: la80.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 11:57am EDT
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LA 79: Bras to Africa 2: Strapped for Cash

Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com

 

 

No headlines this week as they were mistaken thrown onto a bonfire.

 

Also revealed: We talk cold hard numbers...

Direct download: la79.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 5:11am EDT
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LA 78: Qigong, Zumba and an Introduction to Raw Food

Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 


No headlines this week due to a scary clown.


 

Also revealed: We laugh a bit too hard...

Direct download: la78.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 4:53am EDT
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LA 77: The Challenge of Booking a Plumber (or An Excuse for Infidelity)

Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 



No headlines this week as a naughty dog ate them.


 

Also revealed: We discover that Andrew Parkes has a twitter account (@ParkesTheEditor)

Direct download: la77.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 7:07am EDT
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LA 76: Irregular Shaped Feature

Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


 

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 



 

Stories this week include: Due to a printing error, there's no headlines this week.

 

 

 

Direct download: la76.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 4:58am EDT
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LA 75: Retired Fishmonger's Terrifying Ordeal

Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 


Stories this week include:

  • Cheap sex toy causes titillation among customers. 
  • Pantomime cow cull begins in Stroud.
  • Pensioner knocked sparko by apologetic attacker.
  • Council defends new revenue stream through narcotics grown in city centre flowerpots.

Also revealed: We forget to celebrate.

Direct download: la75.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 4:02pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 


Stories this week include:

  • Man takes photo of bridge maintenance. 
  • Neighbour's unrequited love manifests itself in tedious poem.
  • Roller skating grandmother threatened by child with voice like Ian Paisley.
  • Woman slammed for owning car after reliving tragic incident.

Also revealed: We issue a call for constructive criticism.

Direct download: la74.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 12:16pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 


Stories this week include:

  • Bomb disposal team carries out controlled explosion on WWII traffic cone. 
  • Cry for help results in brewery challenge for local editor.
  • Abused parrot finally speaks out.
  • McDonald's introduces McTragic meal for wedding reception held in restaurant.

Also revealed: We feature a story that p*sses on all that came before.

Direct download: la73.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 3:22pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 


Stories this week include:

  • Council criticized after including brothel expenses in pensioner's budget plans.
  • Shoddily painted boulders vandalised. 
  • Fast food restaurant slammed after enforcing equine drive-thru ban.
  • Woman startled by massive 3ft monster.

Also revealed: The News Shopper evades us again...

Direct download: la72.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 3:31pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 


Stories this week include:

  • Former Dallas star refutes alleged homophobia at local bowling alley.
  • Jazz musician Reindeer Shank found safe and well in Blackheath. 
  • Woman vows to never return to London after foot licking horror.
  • Saved cow, dies.

Also revealed: Rob talks pottery...

Direct download: la71.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 3:52pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 


Stories this week include:

  • Band of rogue journalists deny stealing fencing for new theme park.
  • Social worker subjects reluctant family to fried chicken. 
  • Elvis fans flock to Croydon after misleading promotional video.
  • 49-year-old former primary school pupil attacked by superimposed fox.

Also revealed: We make a desperate plea for reviews.

Direct download: la70.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 3:57pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 


Stories this week include:

  • Owner of doomed hardware store accused of parking space theft.
  • Coroner mistakenly asked to repair guttering at care home. 
  • Large member picks fight with man dressed as large member.
  • Couple in shock after experiencing no paranormal activity whatsoever in haunted pub.

Also revealed: We feature a comment from a well-adjusted reader...

Direct download: la69.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 1:57pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 


Stories this week include:

  • The Six Million Dollar Man spotted in Bexley charity shop.
  • Council installs telephone box themed urinals. 
  • Unprovoked plaiting treated as hate crime.
  • Unicorn seeks asylum in Russia after forged documents discovered.

Also revealed: Alex has the willies put up him...

Direct download: la68.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 4:54pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.


Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 


Stories this week include:

  • BBC admits error after homeless alcoholic films documentary on crystal meth addiction in US.
  • Grandmother blames lack of clear signage after mistakenly driving onto runway at Manchester Airport.
  • Landlord adds limited edition porpoise burger to menu. 
  • Man burns mouth on hot food.

Also revealed: Rob wants a tattoo...

Direct download: la67.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 2:39pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Council tenant ponce caught scrounging off state.
  • Local supermarket introduces value range of exotic creatures.
  • Woman lights cigarette with own hair. 
  • Fashion victim plants tree.

Also revealed: We discuss Discmans and domestic servitude.

Direct download: la66.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 4:34pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Coastguard return tent to owners after confusing distress call.
  • Local tourist board member resigns after accepting corporate lunches from pub chain.
  • Boy discovers bluebell in bluebell wood. 
  • Cow warmed.

Also revealed: Alex is stopped by police...

Direct download: la65.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 1:31am EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Action Man Army Jeep overshadows motor show.
  • 'Killer' snake found dead in bomb crater.
  • Tenfold increase in hopscotch related crimes. 
  • Second rate kitsch item causes invasion.

Also revealed: Aquaman is not real and Rob's girlfriend does not have superpowers.

Direct download: LA64.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 2:37pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Surviving ancestors of Abraham Lincoln shocked to discover link to Sydenham man.
  • Wannabe cowboy leads mission to rid world of abandoned greenhouses.
  • Elderly resident found to be using live grenade as decorative lawn ornament.
  • Man rescued by fat dog after ambush by gang of woodland creatures.

Also revealed: Concerns mount for local editor...

Direct download: la63.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 5:49am EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Woman shocked to learn that birds can fly.
  • Local Women's Institute face further embarrassment after laying on lavish banquet for talk on eating disorders.
  • Police attribute rise in 'flashing' to recent article highlighting most common locations.
  • Paper faces criticism after 'sexing up' photograph of dead goldfinches.

Also revealed: Alex reveals the truth behind what really happened when he was left alone with Rob's cat...

Direct download: la62.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 4:15am EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Direct download: la61.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 6:30pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Direct download: la60.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:37pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Commentators find ten rude names for journalist after questionable story.
  • Daily Mail blames Latin ducks for stealing birds away from hardworking British ducks.
  • Animal welfare charities outraged after couple crucify hamster.
  • Mexican wing of charity disgusted to learn that collection bags used in connection to fraud.

Also revealed: Rob is found to be moonlighting...

Direct download: la59_edit2.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 2:49pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Southeastern shocked to learn station staff consisted of local amateur dramatics society.
  • Grieving swan takes own like after refusing counselling.
  • Austerity measures hit hard as family are forced to substitute birthday cake with biscuits.
  • Shoplifter given the sweet taste of freedom after court appearance.

Also revealed: We have some 'exciting' news...

Direct download: la58_edit.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 8:10am EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Occasional table on loose in Dorchester.
  • Local man claims he is to become next astronaut after accidentally inhaling aerosol
  • Cheating husband blames infidelity on cat people.
  • Drama teacher defends directorial decision to include imitation assault rifles in production of Cinderella.

Also revealed: We watch some videos...

Direct download: la57.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 4:05pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Burglar outraged at being branded 'sexual fetishist' by local paper after underwear theft.
  • Journalist arrested after inexplicably recording conversations of unwitting shoppers.
  • Town with Communist machinations named as one of the coolest places to live by Kremlin.
  • Woman reassesses life after scooping first prize in 'Most Like Owner' category at dog show.

Also revealed: Rob goes it alone...

Direct download: la56.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 9:11am EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Local paper reveals scientific exclusive on sunshine making subjects feel 'better'.
  • Police smash in back doors of man disguised as grandmother.
  • Legal precedent set for minimum number of cinema rows needed between patrons to lawfully masturbate.
  • Channel 5 commissions new veterinary drama entitled Dash loosely based on Magnum, P.I.

Also revealed: A little too much gets revealed...

Direct download: la55.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 12:52pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Cat owner admits staging elaborate kidnapping and ransom of pet to raise funds for ailing conservatory business.
  • Wayward sheep given food and shelter by victims despite week long reign of terror.
  • Police told to keep their beeping noses out of driver's business.
  • Fly-tippers hung by the neck until dead in local town.

Also revealed: We revealed our new (and copyrighted) podcast venture...

Direct download: la54.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 4:05am EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Bexley unveiled as the new holiday destination for Club 18-30 holidaymakers.
  • Judge arrested for indecent exposure in local cinema claims he was re-enacting offence for the benefit of the jury.
  • Man attempting to exchange imitation firearm for fish and chips revealed to be unsavoury character.
  • Big cat 'expert' admits culling badgers to manipulate statistics.

Also revealed: Rob eats a Ye Olde Man's Hotdog...

Direct download: la53.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 10:48am EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Editor spotted releasing horses onto local common.
  • Dog mess passes Fitness to Work assessment after clerical error.
  • Love blossoms after man tells partner he wished they'd never met.
  • Pensioner arrested after conducting guided tours of red-light districts.

Also revealed: First come, first served...

Direct download: la52.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 3:32pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Suspect arrested in Hobby Craft after hiding in bead aisle.
  • Town on lockdown after grit theft.
  • Man denies allegations of 'switching off' ex-wife after peculiar sound bite.
  • Local philanthropist conned out of £30,000 after yacht bought on internet turns out to be cardboard cutout.

Also revealed: He's possibly onto us...

Direct download: la51.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 3:57pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Owner denies staging Homeward Bound re-enactment after lost dog is found wandering railway line.
  • Local resident burnt at stake after rumoured sightings of him in woman's clothing spread.
  • Mystery surrounds news story with lack of content.
  • Blonde teenager's wrestling debut draws unprecedented number of middle aged male 'sports' fans.

Also revealed: We exchange obligatory 'non-luxury' gifts.

Direct download: LA50.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 2:00pm EDT
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LA 49: What's Next, Monkey Meat?!

Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Miss Teen Bromley 2012 entrants mistakenly given journalism award by editor of local paper.
  • Church of England refutes ludicrous claim that Bob the Builder was 13th Apostle.
  • Strip club shocked by allegations of French cuisine being served in venue.
  • Shoppers grateful after supermarket is cordoned off due to health and safety fears.

Also revealed: We find out what Lonnie has been saying...

Direct download: LA49.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 9:34am EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Husband exacts revenge by forcing wife into beach hut.
  • Norfolk boy displays surprise knowledge of foreign lands.
  • Public backlash after council reveals parking fees fund running costs of council services.
  • Farmer ostracized after claiming that chickens were behind drive-by egging

Also revealed: We reply to yet another e-mail AND watch a video...

Direct download: la48.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 12:53pm EDT
Comments[0]

Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • The Birdman returns in the Mysterious Case of the Stuffed Cheetah.
  • Nudist group outraged by woman seen wearing swimming costume.
  • Parkes on puberty.
  • Err...that's it.

Also revealed: We reply to an e-mail...

Direct download: la47.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 3:12pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • New Forest gunman hires victim as mentor.
  • Mr W Wonka denies knowledge of an unprovoked attack by members of his workforce.
  • Cancellation of ghost walk leaves participants exorcised.
  • Mystic Parkes reveals predictions for 2013.

Also revealed: The winner of our Listener Story of 2012 is unveiled...

Direct download: LAP46.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 12:02pm EDT
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Alex and Rob cast an irreverent eye over local news from their respective home towns.

Listeners can submit stories from their local area to:lapodcast.net@gmail.com 

Stories this week include:

  • Local paper criticised after running competition which asked entrants to complete phrase "I want £300 because..."
  • Woman reveals fundraising efforts of local community allowed stray cat to go on all-inclusive holiday.
  • Man searching for lost walking stick comes to senses.
  • Patient pelts passersby with unusual Christmas dinner choice after cutbacks to hospital budget.

Also revealed: The Christmas dinner debacle...

Happy New Year to all our listeners!


Direct download: la46.mp3
Category:Comedy/News -- posted at: 3:21pm EDT
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